Tuesday, June 20, 2006

We dress in same ways, only our accents change

In the past month I have: finished my (first) master's degree, closed down two residence halls, cleaned out two offices, finished up loose ends at my current job, accepted a new position 10 hours away in NH, packed up six years of life in MD (almost... 4-5 boxes to go), said entirely too many goodbyes, seen Mike Doughty live, seen X-men II (twice) and the DaVinci Code (twice), said goodbye to Mason (my fair feline) and reserved a U-Haul.

I have not: gone to the gym or updated my blog.

Over lunch with a friend/mentor I mentioned that my recent panache for healthy eating had gone out the window when life got stressful (similar to the blogging). "What happened that caused you to feel stressed?" she asked. A legitimate question that I couldn't immediately answer.
Yesterday I spoke with another friend/mentor (I am lucky to have met a number of people over the past 6 years who not only make me laugh but can offer sage advice being generally older and wiser). She asked if I was excited about my upcoming move to New England. "I'm move overwhelmed than excited. I mean I am excited, but I go back and forth between overwhelmed and excited" I babbled. And I couldn't stop babbling.
So which is it? Am I stressed or content? Excited or overwhelmed?
The answer, as always, is somewhere inbetween.
I am excited at the potential of a new position in a new city in closer proximity to friends and family. I am excited by the oppurtunity to live in a new space. To redefine my living quarters and rid myself of chochkeys and the "stuff" I don't need anymore.
But, when I accepted the position, I - The Queen of Overthinking and Overanalyzing (well, maybe that's my mother... but I am definately the heir to the throne) - didn't fully consider how such a move might "upset the apple cart." There is so much to do here and there. From new banks and doctors to new hair dressers and movie theatres: everything will change. On Thursday, the life I have carefully constructed will no longer exsist. I'll be starting over.
And, as exciting as that is, the overwhelming-ness of it all reaches my conscious mind in waves. And it seems just as I ride one out and start sun bathing in the excitment of everything, another one comes along.
Which is how waves work.