Fond of Y-O-U
I had a doctor’s appointment today, which is appropriate as I am in need of some mending. It’s nothing serious – nothing that can’t be healed with TLC, time and an approachable bedside manner. I require no extensive reconstruction and neither my life nor my heart are in any real danger. Which, all in all, is good.
So, what have I learned over the past month whilst I have been on the “Here Be Dragons” section of my own romantic map? So. Much.
1- Where have all the good men gone?: I asked this question a few months ago. It turns out that some of them live in New England. They are kind, somewhat patient, intelligent, committed to… something (it’s a start). My faith is restored!
2- Dark and Twisty?: Meredith Gray be damned (I knew I stopped watching that show for a reason!)! By the warm and sunny light of day, none of the cards I bring to the table is a deal breaker. Having never shown them before (and knowing nothing about poker – making this a very hard metaphor to continue) I wasn’t sure how my hand would fare but I had the sinking feeling that my cards sucked. I was wrong.
3- Chemistry – not just High School Science: So, that part where your brain shuts off and you forget what scintillating thing you were going to say and you feel a bit like someone’s holding a conch shell to your ear because you swear you can’t hear anything but the ocean – that’s nice. That’s really nice.
4- Defense mechanism #45 or Shouting “Leprosy!” when you’ve really only got a papercut (and maybe a scar or two -- extending the metaphors is fun!): It’s just not a good idea. Who wants to date a girl with boils? And what girl without boils really wants to date a guy who… wants to date a girl with boils. I see now that this is an unwise move on many levels.
5- Say what you will about standardized tests; at least you know you’re taking them: I understand that dating is a process of give and take. Each person feels out the other person to see if there is room to make themselves comfortable. Honestly, I believe that, in truly lasting relationships, partners compliment (rather than mirror) one another. And, I concede that it can take multiple meetings to figure out if that’s going to happen. That said, I don’t like feeling as though I have to prove that I’m interesting. I (like most people) am generally fascinating without trying. I’ve a quarter century of experience and countless contradictions that not only make me fun to be around but exciting to boot. Given the awkwardness of dating, it seems somewhat ridiculous to feel as though one needs to say something witty at a precise moment or else lose “Game, Set and f-ing Match.” If it’s not working, it’s not working. Wrong place, wrong time or wrong person – whatever, Done. Prolonging the experience and putting your date on trial (without telling her that’s what’s happening) just makes for an unpleasant evening.
6- You’re either gonna break-up with him or marry him – so you better get used to breaking up: I think this speaks for itself. It’s certainly true. It sucks. It hurts. It’s time consuming. But there’s no arguing against it.
7- Dating is fun/Dating is exhausting: Yes. I admit that the post-date high is fun. And that the intermediate date angst can be generally giddiness-inducing once it breaks. And that all in all, dates are not an unpleasant way to spend an afternoon. But, I cannot be the only person who finds it all very exhausting and consuming. Today, I actually thought about work for most of the “work-day”… that hasn’t happened recently (but I’ve been getting the same amount of work done, so I suppose I should conclude that there is room in my day for something else).
8- The Shin’s Wincing the Night Away is an awesome album: Statement of fact. Proof to follow.
So, what have I learned over the past month whilst I have been on the “Here Be Dragons” section of my own romantic map? So. Much.
1- Where have all the good men gone?: I asked this question a few months ago. It turns out that some of them live in New England. They are kind, somewhat patient, intelligent, committed to… something (it’s a start). My faith is restored!
2- Dark and Twisty?: Meredith Gray be damned (I knew I stopped watching that show for a reason!)! By the warm and sunny light of day, none of the cards I bring to the table is a deal breaker. Having never shown them before (and knowing nothing about poker – making this a very hard metaphor to continue) I wasn’t sure how my hand would fare but I had the sinking feeling that my cards sucked. I was wrong.
3- Chemistry – not just High School Science: So, that part where your brain shuts off and you forget what scintillating thing you were going to say and you feel a bit like someone’s holding a conch shell to your ear because you swear you can’t hear anything but the ocean – that’s nice. That’s really nice.
4- Defense mechanism #45 or Shouting “Leprosy!” when you’ve really only got a papercut (and maybe a scar or two -- extending the metaphors is fun!): It’s just not a good idea. Who wants to date a girl with boils? And what girl without boils really wants to date a guy who… wants to date a girl with boils. I see now that this is an unwise move on many levels.
5- Say what you will about standardized tests; at least you know you’re taking them: I understand that dating is a process of give and take. Each person feels out the other person to see if there is room to make themselves comfortable. Honestly, I believe that, in truly lasting relationships, partners compliment (rather than mirror) one another. And, I concede that it can take multiple meetings to figure out if that’s going to happen. That said, I don’t like feeling as though I have to prove that I’m interesting. I (like most people) am generally fascinating without trying. I’ve a quarter century of experience and countless contradictions that not only make me fun to be around but exciting to boot. Given the awkwardness of dating, it seems somewhat ridiculous to feel as though one needs to say something witty at a precise moment or else lose “Game, Set and f-ing Match.” If it’s not working, it’s not working. Wrong place, wrong time or wrong person – whatever, Done. Prolonging the experience and putting your date on trial (without telling her that’s what’s happening) just makes for an unpleasant evening.
6- You’re either gonna break-up with him or marry him – so you better get used to breaking up: I think this speaks for itself. It’s certainly true. It sucks. It hurts. It’s time consuming. But there’s no arguing against it.
7- Dating is fun/Dating is exhausting: Yes. I admit that the post-date high is fun. And that the intermediate date angst can be generally giddiness-inducing once it breaks. And that all in all, dates are not an unpleasant way to spend an afternoon. But, I cannot be the only person who finds it all very exhausting and consuming. Today, I actually thought about work for most of the “work-day”… that hasn’t happened recently (but I’ve been getting the same amount of work done, so I suppose I should conclude that there is room in my day for something else).
8- The Shin’s Wincing the Night Away is an awesome album: Statement of fact. Proof to follow.
posted by Katharine at
7:20 PM
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