Friday, December 01, 2006

Every time I turn around I run into myself

One of the most striking moments of television over the past couple of years was the scene in a Christmastide Grey's Anatomy (surprise, surprise). Meredith, Izzie and George find themselves staring up from under their Christmas tree, hiding away from the craziness of young interns, haphazard lovers and complicated friendships. It is a moment where there is peace between three people who have choosen to face life in all of its unknown beauty and glory together. They are each other's chosen family.
It's a concept to which I easily relate. I, like so many modern families, have Aunts to whom I am not related and full-blooded cousins I never see. Following the model of my family, I have pulled those I love around me, keeping them close even when they are far away. I hold on tight knowing that my choosen family is just as important, just as reliable and just as fragile as the family I was given. But that they are all of my choosing and I of theirs.
My choosen family has become even more intriguing to me as I enter into my mid-twenties. I've been struck over the past months at how much more comfortable I am becoming in my own skin. I can't imagine that I had any inkling of my true self two years ago - a fact I would have, undoubtedly, vehemently denied if brought to my attention at the time.
Part of this has to do with living in a new place and meeting a boatload of new people. A mere six months ago, I was established - a known entity. Now, I am constantly redefining who I am and what I am about for everyone I meet- including myself. I'm learning what parts of my personality take people a little while to get used to, what parts I'm most proud and what parts could use a little polish. I'm seeing myself in a whole new light, as it were. And, as difficult and hard as that can be, I'm so very, very, very grateful for the oppurtunity to do so.
What strikes me, as I prepare to meet up with my chosen family (in all its various parts) over the next month or so, is that those who truly know me are not surprised by my "discoveries." They have always known the things about me that I am just learning - they saw them years before I could. Some of them have grown with me, but others have watched me grow up for years, waiting for the moment I would realize just what they saw.

1 Comments:

Blogger that mckim girl said...

I am proud to be a member of your chosen family!

Also, when we decorated our Christmas tree yesterday, all I wanted to do was scoot under it and lie on my back, looking up at the lights, a la GA. But our tree isn't that big, so I didn't think it would work.

9:50 AM  

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