We built on the river....

It seems that whenever I have a lot to mull over I start cleaning like a mad-woman. Somehow, removing hidden dust-bunnies, re-alphabitizing my CD's, DVD's and books and cleaning out my closets helps to clear my head, organize my thoughts and make decisions. So, when I found myself rearranging my furniture at 4 am (Friday/Saturday) I wasn't so much surprised as pleased-- the wheels were churning.
I found myself in quite the quandary: Should I do the frugal thing and stay in the next evening, or take advantage of the chance to see one of my favorite musicians live? I know, I know-- not the most taxing question (quite simple, in the end), but it was underlying--and old-- issues that kept me awake moving heavy bookshelves about the apartment.
I was introduced to Dar Williams, by chance, back before illegal downloading was really illegal. I had done a search for a song (I don't know which) and found a cover by Dar. I remember listening once and immediately downloading anything I could find. Her voice was mesmorizing, but, more so, her lyrics often spoke the words I couldn't find. As one of the more defining relationships of my life came to a close, she comforted, gave advice and offered hope. It was like finding an older, cooler sister who understood how I felt, even though it didn't make sense that anyone else could.
Over time, the songs I love have changed. At first, it was Spring Street with its reference to my own coping mechanism ("I was too happy driving, and too angry to drive home") and the promise of starting over. Next, The Christians and the Pagans offered my roommate and I a humorous holiday anthem. As Cool as I Am followed with the empowering lines ("I don't know what you saw, I want somebody who sees me"). I connected with the narrators of Iowa ("How I long to fall, just a little bit, to dance out of the lines and stray from the light. But I fear that to fall in love with you is to fall from a great and gruesome height") and The Ocean--the song from which this blog receives its title. And there are the songs already posted here... Reflections of where I'm at and where I've been. Dar has taught me to laugh at myself, to trust in friendship (again, and again) and to recognize that it is no accident that the current picture of my "ideal man"--a rather well-bred, well-mannered modern Neanderthal-- looks the way he does. And so (of course) I decided to see Dar live.
On three hours sleep I headed to B-more to visit with friends over a trip to the local market and a wonderful breakfast. I made my way to DC in the afternoon for the first--and, possibly, final-- crabfest of the year (which is Okay, because they were the most wonderful crabs ever!). I hopped the metro with Lizzie, and found myself at the 9:30 Club waiting for the opening act (Girlyman-- who were very, very good!) to hurry up and start so that Dar could take the stage.
And then she did. Although the set was a little new-song-heavy, I enjoyed the entire hour and a half we spent together. I stood less than twenty feet from the woman who had held my hand through most of my recent emotional education... and the fact that we will never really know each other doesn't really matter. It's a priceless connection, and I am forever grateful.

But that is more than enough sappy introspection for one week... After all, I have a thesis to write.... And closets that need cleaning!
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P.S. Serenity was wonderful! I actually enjoyed myself throughout (most) of the movie. I don't want to give anything away, but you should definitely see it.... And I'll write more after I see it a second time!